Hand Job
Have you seen the new Office Depot commercials? They paid some high priced advertising team to put their little heads together and come up with something better than the EASY BUTTON and this is it? A hand in a box. (Maybe they are ripping of SNLas well)
The Easy Button is just unbeatable. You go to Staples, hit the button and your done. If you go to Office Depot, you have to push a cart around with a hand in a box? It's not a very long hand either. How's he gonna reach stuff on a high shelf? Or even the middle shelf for that matter. And what if the hand tries to get fresh? It did look like a man hand. (Maybe it was Paris Hilton's. Have you seen her man hands???) Am I going to be able to wrestle this hand back into the box? Is he good at thumb wars?
Office Depot, if you are reading this, I ask you please, PLEASE put the hand away. The only people lookin for hand jobs are men and they just don't go to office supply stores. Just give it up. You're not going to win. As soon as you try, those Staples dudes hit the button and your OUT. Done. Maybe you could borrow that Rubberband Man stuff from Office Max. Best of luck to ya.
PS Please stop discontinuing the shit I like for work. It pisses me off. Do you want me to go to the other guys?
PSS You're lucky I'm too lazy to fill out paper work to order my easy button.
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