SCAVENGER HUNT
Do you all have a spring and fall clean-up through your garbage service? We do. In addition to your regular garbage can you can bring out lawn/brush clippings, boxes, broken toys & bikes, FURNITURE ETC. Which can be a great thing. You can finally get rid of the crap you were too lazy to take the the dumps or the goodwill. The only problem with this wonderful service is the pests. This kind of event brings out a pest so hideous, so annoying. What is this pest you ask? I'll tell you.
It is the HUMAN SCAVENGER. This pest used to only come out at dusk. But each year it gets braver. Stronger. And has a bigger truck. I'm home today, the day before the big event. Lots of families got an early start and dragged the remains of the inside of their homes down to the curb. The Scavengers could smell these treasures in the sping breeze. They have come out early. Trolling the neighborhood for... well I don't know exactly what they are looking for. All I see are pee pee stained mattresses, dressers without drawers (do those get lost with socks???, kitchen chairs without a table and baby items that I certainly wouldn't have any use for.
I'm not much of a garage sale shopper. Mainly because I don't like to get up early, but also because I have my own useless junk. I don't have an interest in housing someone elses smelly junk. I like to peek out my front window everytime I hear a big truck cruising by at 5 miles an house. Trying to spot that one thing they just can't live without. It's actually funner at night. Sounds like big cock roaches out there searching for food. clickety clack clackk clack. Don't ask how I know they sound like that. Trust me. They are quieter during the day. Maybe because it's daylight and everyone can see them going through the TRASH. At night, it's another story. There's a lot of yellign, whistling, arguing. It's all so bizarre to me.
"Jake, throw that lamp in the back of the truck. I know, I can make a shade for it. It's perfect for the bedroom. Now step on it, I see two-legged bar stool with your butt written all over it!"
I hope you all someday can experience this natural (or unattural) phenomenon. Don't get too closed though. They may walk right up into your garage and strip your car or something or steal your husband. HEY! Nah, he's not junk yet. YET.
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