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Name: Autumn's Mom

Location: Northern California, United States

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Do You Know Where YOUR Daughter Is? Trying to raise a girl these days is tough. Once upon a time, we raised our girls to be fine young ladies. Gentle and sweet. These days you need to raise a streetwise kid who is feminine yet tough, stands up for herself but isnt vulgar, and who knows what a sex offender is and that they like to hang out on the internet. Then you have the pressures from other moms who are also raising daughters, who may be thinking…is YOUR daughter the trouble maker? No one wants to think their daughter (or child) is the one starting some shit. I’m not going to sit here and create this perfect world where my daughter never does anything wrong and is beautiful and kind to everyone like Snow Fucking White. Uh uh. NO way, she’s sneaky, she wants what she wants and she goes for it on occasion. I guess I’m still lucky enough that she’s no pro and gets caught. I got a call from a friend who was asking me about some trouble our kids have been having. They have had a history of going back and forth from being BFF to IHYYFAC (I hate you, you fat ass cow). Right now, we are on IHYYFAC. There have been words exchanged at school and through email and IM. My first reaction was to not get involved. Maybe that was wrong, but I feel they need to work things out themselves or how are they ever going to learn to. Then I get a call from this friend, who’s seen the emails my daughter has sent but she cant view her own daughters. So, she’s got half the scoop. I hate looking into Autumn’s email. It is like reading her diary. When I got really freaked out about this boyfriend of hers, I checked it and I felt guilty about it. I want her to feel like she has some privacy. I also feel like I need to have some control over her abusing this privilege. So I am on the phone with this friend and searching for the offensive email while she does the same. It just sounds so gross even saying it to you my invisible friends. I find no emails to the girl and let the friend know and we end our conversation. Here I sit at the computer, where I’m not so upset now about this feud as I am with another email I see here. The email that is most upsetting is *Your Friend* has commented on your Myspace. (pause for dramatic effect) Myspace is a NO-NO. We’ve had this conversation. Maybe I didn’t make myself perfectly clear. Myspace is a disgusting misuse of space where young people feel the need to befriend every scantily clothed individual they can find. I cant tell you how many times I’ve innocently *stumbled* upon pornographic material that I don’t even find suitable to view at age 36. At this point in the story, I have pounded 3 hersheys miniatures in 5 seconds trying to calm my heart. I know it’s not love and it certainly isn’t courage or strength. I open the email and try to go ahead and log on as her hoping she’s maybe used the same log on as her email. No such luck. I try a couple of times to search for her and cant come up with her space. I now start thinking of interesting ways to bring up this topic of conversation when I get home. I actually got lucky and did manage to find it. It’s set to private so I couldn’t actually view it. She doesnt have a picture of herself on it, but rather a picture of Marilyn Monroe. I don’t know how I feel about that. I decide to send her a message there titled CAUGHT YOU. Contents read, I’m pretty sure I said there was no myspace aloud. You need to come clean with me and show me what’s going on here. I’m very disappointed. (that works right?) At this point, I’m searching the internet for Coach purses to buy because I’m still feeling like crap inside. I’m telling you, this purse WILL make me feel all better. Really. The rest of my day should be aces. Til, I get home. I keep thinking maybe I should have this conversation with her while I’m on the treadmill so that my angst comes out of my feet and not through my hands around her throat. I can tell you for certain, that the internet will be restricted for at least a month at this point. I will be taking the phone cord with me to work to be sure it's not used in my absense. I sure would love your opinions and advice. :( posted by Autumn's Mom at 1:27 PM