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Monday, May 07, 2007
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Mean Girls
How was the weekend y'all? Mine started off in the toilet. I quickly dried myself off and spent the rest of the weekend blissfully doing nothing. Well, not nothing nothing. We had yet another softball game Saturday afternoon, which they one. Autumn had her friend spend the night so I got a quiet evening to myself watching in a movie in my room. ALONE. I watched Deja Vu. While, it was so far fetched and had an unblievable premise, I was actually on pins and needles through the end. That Denzel Washington. He could make a movie about eating shit and it would be good. Sunday, M took the girls to the Winchestor Mystery House in San Jose. Autumn has been watching haunted mansions on the travel channel and has really wanted to go visit one for herself. I would rather shop so I didn't join them.
You are reading this so far and wondering where the mean girls title is coming from don't you? Here it comes. I was completely ready for bed Sunday night, Autumn and I were watching TV. It always happens so simply, she asked me a question, but it's not the question she means in her head so as I try and answer she gets all frustrated with me. Heated words are exchanged. Someone is sent to her room. Fits are thrown. I come in and start removing items as a punishment. It's a vicious cycle. I calm down and tell her, again, that we can't keep doing this. She's going down a bumpy road and needs to come back to planet earth where we speak to each other in respectful tones and let one another finish their sentences. This conversation turns into why Autumn is so unhappy. She doesn't have any friends, no one likes her. Everyone picks on her, calls her fat blah blah blah. She's crying, I'm crying. I don't get it. Why do kids have to be so mean? I mean seriously, no one in the 6th grade is fat. They haven't stopped growing yet for crying out loud. How does it get so bad that your child wants to move to another school? And what are you supposed to do about that? At this point you may be thinking that the conversation turned this way because she's trying to get out of trouble, but it's been another conversation we've been having for most of the school year. She's miserable and I think the only time she can let her guard down, is when we break it down with one of our own spats.
Remember when your kid was learning to walk and you wanted to walk around behind them and catch them when they fall? That's how I feel right now. My first instinct was to play hooky today and go see Spiderman. Yea, because a man bit by a spider knows more about life than I do. We spent the better part of the night talking quietly in my bed about places we should move to. New York, Hawaii, Nebraska. Seriously though, I'm at the end of my rope. I remember being in the 6th grade. My experience was very similar to hers. All this time I thought things were going to be so much better for her. She's smarter, prettier, thinner than I ever was but she's repeating my life. Not Fair! What do I do? Do I encourage her to stick it out? That it will make her stronger? Or move, which is inevitable due to our circumstances anyway? Is a fresh start a good thing? Or will she be trading these small town bullies for another towns? Or just say fuck it and move to a mountain in Wyoming!
If you have any thoughts, critisms, mountain hide-aways let me know.
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