Separation Anxiety
I had a pretty good weekend. I went to the movies with my good friend J. We saw Walk the Line. I highly recommend it. We stayed up til 11 talking about everything. It was just so nice to get out of the house and not have to worry about a husband getting bored or falling asleep on someone's couch as he usually does. I didn't have to worry about a child getting out of hand or whining about when we are going home. I hadn't even realized it had gotten so late. When I did, it hit me that no one had called my cell phone to check in on me. My daughter ALWAYS calls to tell me good night and ask me when I'm coming home. She's gonna make a good mom someday. It made me kind of sad. While I had enjoyed my time away, I still wanted to feel needed. WANTED. loved. I came to two conclusions. One, she doesn't need, want OR love me anymore. She's packed her crap and left me a venomous note stating I suck, I've ruined her life and she's moving to Grandma's. OR, she was out with her own super best friend having a sleepover. I was relieved when I got home that there was no note. Her room was intact. She was indeed having a sleepover elsewhere and would be returning in the morning. Relief washes over me.
Do I sound melodramatic? Ok, yeah, I do. I'm here to tell you, especially you newbies out there, separation anxiety exists all right. And I've got it. Each year that brings us closer to that magical age of 18, brings me more sadness that one day not long from now, my little girl will be a woman and heading out into the world without me. *sigh*
On the bright side, I'll have that much more time with my TiVo. My real reason for living. I'm not even going to THINK what would happen to me if that left me. I mean, that's just NOT gonna happen. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. It's not funny. How can you laugh when I'm practicing my lamaze breathing over here??? You are cruel internet. Just cruel.
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