Eat a Balloon and Lose Weight
Want to hear the latest and greatest on the weight loss front?? Apparently, you can have a balloon inserted into your stomach (it's filled with air or saleen) so that you feel full all the time thus you will eat less. It's only for a small weight loss of 30 to 40 pounds. It's also only temporary because once you have the balloon removed you will more than likely gain it back. And then some. They say the balloon is big enough that it won't get into your digestive tract. What if it did? What if you didn't get it refilled and it slipped right in and got stuck in your colon??? Is it worth it? I don't think so. Sometimes, they do this procedure in patients waiting to have gastric bypass surgery. One of the requirements is that you lose a little weight before hand. I guess it lessens the risk for complications or something. This shit is crazay. I'm going to digress right about here. Every article I read talks about these procedures being performed on the "morbidly obese". That is just about the most insensitive term I think we as a people have ever come up with. I don't consider myself to be morbidly obese. Or even obese obese. I'm fat. Pleasantly plump. Big deal. I walk. I eat healthier. So fuck off! No, I'm not talking to you my lovely readers. I'm talking to the skinny fucks who came up with that terrible term. Why does everyone have to have a label?? I hate labels!
So, no, I won't be going in for balloon insertion. Or gastric bypass. I'm not going to have my stomach stapled, crimped, cut in half, reshaped, redesigned or reconstructed. I'm still going to eat pizza, Jack in the Box and lots and lots of salad. I'm going to walk my ass off, literally. I don't care if it takes me two years or 10 years. If you are at the point where you need serious intervention, then by all means get it. I'm just saying for me, I don't need it. I just need some will power and faith baby.
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