About Me

Name: Autumn's Mom

Location: Northern California, United States

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

Happy Birthday To You I became Autumn's mom on a rainy Saturday evening 12 years ago. I was a young 23 and hadn't a clue as to what was ahead. She came a day ahead of schedule. We tried to coax her out earlier in the week but she wouldn't have it. She does things in her own way in her own time. This particular weekend began with me feeling crampy, crappy, cranky, basically all the C's. I was on the phone with my cousin feeling these bizarre sort of pains. She kept telling me I was in labor, but she was an old spinster who'd never had kids. What the heck did she know. M came home from work and upon my telling him something was definitely happening, he thought it would be a good idea to take a nap. Leaving me alone to my thoughts of the severe pain that lay ahead. JERK I called my girlfriend who planned on joining us in the delivery room. She'd gone to all my birthing classes with me since they were during the day and M couldn't take that much time off of work. I would come home and tell him that I would be doing all the work and he'd just be holding my feet. His part was eazy smeezy. M continues to snooze while my friend shows up with a treat. She thought it would be fun to bake cinnamon rolls while I suffered so we'd have a yummy breakfast in the morning. Her heart was in the right place. This is the part of the story where I tell you that M and my first house was actually at trailer that my mother had purchased for me. I admit it. I AM straight up trailer trash and proud of it. Back to story...We had a propane stove that always seemed to run out at the wrong time. She lovingly placed the cinnamon rolls on the pan and placed in the oven. The oven, that ran out of propane. There would be no yummy cinnamon rolls to look forward to in the morning after my agony. Damn. I had nothing to look forward to. Oh wait! Yes I did!!! I guess I should also explain that our little happy trailer was on an island that you had to take a ferry on and off of. There was also a bridge or two or three that needed to be crossed to get to the hospital. I know, where in the back woods is this chick from anyways?? After laboring to what surely must be 9 centimeters we decided to make the trek to the hospital. We called the ferry so they could meet us on our side of the island. They would call the main bridge to make sure it wouldn't be going up while we were on our way. As we drove in the pouring rain, approaching the ferry, the operators decked in their rain gear and flashlights, lit our way onto the boat. In my mind, it's like a crazy scene from a movie. We arrive at the hospital and wheel into the emergency room around 2:30 am. I can hardly move by now, so I figure she must be half way out of me. As I check in, I ask for the drugs. So, do I get them here? Here's my arm. Load me up. Your not the doctor? That's ok, I trust you. Hit me Trixie. I'm ready. Go ahead, stick it in there, I won't even feel it. No? Bitch. We get settled into the room and I find that my nutritionist from my doctor's office is the head nurse that night. She's training a newbie. So, I get checked not once but TWICE every time they come in. To my horror, I'm only at 3 centimeters. You have GOT to be kidding me. Is the epidural coming? Because if not, I'm out of here. The anesthesiologist is asleep. They will be calling him in. Sleeping? He gets to sleep? I don't get to sleep. Whatever. I drift in and out between contractions, which I can tell are not fun. I remember reading or hearing somewhere that you need something to focus on while you are doing your breathing. Yea, did I bring anything? Noooo I kept trying to focus on these little dots in the ceiling. I'd blink and lose it and panic and start again. Good times. Finally Dr. Hershey shows up from his slumber. Isn't it funny that I still remember his name? He became my new and very favorite friend. He brings with him, his 10 inch epidural needle. Bender over and we'll stick it right in. I'm not sure how with a HUGE stomach one is supposed to bend over, but I'll try it. Finally, I can enjoy these last few hours before the little alien inside me makes her presence known. It took an hour, but really it seemed like she slipped right out. All almost 7 lbs of her. Here she was. I think the look on my face said it all. WHAT NOW? I didn't cry after her birth, til about four days later. While watching a stupid FTD flowers commercial or something stupid like that. I didn't know what to do with this little tiny thing. Except feed and changed her clothes. A lot. So I took her picture. That's what we did all day. Me propping her up on a pillow, taking her picture til she fell over to the side. She was very wiggly. We don't do cool birthdays like this anymore. I kind of miss them, but then again I kind of don't. You never new with Autumn what kind of a mood she'd be in. We actually had to put that frosting on her nose because she was too dainty to dig into her cake. She never really liked the fuss of a party. These days we take a couple of friends and go to the movies and lunch. It's so fun, me driving around 3 12 year olds waving at old people to see if they wave back. Me looking in the other direction so it doesn't look like I know what's going on. Ah, it was fun. I didn't even wrap up her present. I'm telling, this kid is no muss, no fuss. She asked me what I got her Friday night and rather than dodging the question, I snuck into her room and put it on her bed for her to find later. Which she did and got so excited that she tackled me in the kitchen and bruised my cheek with a fat kiss. I love this kid that lives with us. She's fun and funny. She's bright and may one day take over the world. So watch out. She is absolutely the best thing I've ever done. Really, it's been all down hill every since ;) Ok, that was a lie. We have lots of ups and down but at the end of the day when I see her sleeping in her room, my heart becomes full. Thanks for making me your Mama. Oh, and I'm still BIGGER than you. Don't you forget it. posted by Autumn's Mom at 9:56 AM