Did ya hear? Barry Effin Gibb is gonna be on Idol tonight! Well, you are reading this tomorrow so he was on last night. Whatever. I have something crazy to admit here. Barry was my first hairy boyfriend. Ok maybe he was my second, cuz the Hardy Boys were my first true love. Um, and there was my next store neighbor Michael. He wasn't hairy though. I guess the Hardy Boys weren't really either, right? Did they shave thier man hair? (hee hee I said man hair)
Anyhoo, at this point in time I should point out I am sucking on my fouth Schirmoff and slyly reaching for my fifth. Nuff said. Back to my hairy Barry. I have loved the brothers Gibb since I was 8 years and my mommy took me to see them in concert. In my memory, I remember two bizorro fellos sitting near us. One, a Peter Frampton reject who just sat and shook his Breck girl hair back and forth. The other was a middle aged dude with a disco dance book in his lap. I think he was too into the book to really enjoy the music. I enjoyed the music. And the movies. I still love them as much today as ever. I'm going to tell you something here. I have been known to twirl around in my night gown to a middle of the night showing of One Night Only on KQED. Yep. Top choice, grade A nerd alert. It is 5 minutes into the show and I've gotten up twice to stare at my aged hairy barry. Damn he's old. Truly he's old enough to be my grandfather. hahaha ok, not really but he seems like it. What happened to the tight pants, chest hair and crazy gold medallions????
ohmygod. Judge Judy is in the hizzle. That is crazy delicious.
Fast forward to the show. I'm not going to run through these terrible performances cuz I'd be here all night looking for synonoms for the word dreadful. These idle bitches are turning these classic songs into crap! Ugh make it stop. Jordin. Jordin my girl, bring it. Show them how it's done. I love this girl. She has amazing poise and the strongest set of pipes since I don't know when and she's only 17. If she went up for adoption tomorrow, yep, she'd be calling me Mama. I also like how (as LD puts it) makes Ryan look like a freakin leprecan when she stands next to him. Jordin knocked her rendition of To Love Somebody right out of the park. Second song, Woman in Love originally sung by Barbara Streisand. Big shoes to fill. She must wear freakin size 11's y'all! WE GOT ANOTHER HOT ONE IN HERE! I don't care what the judges have to say. Schmirnoff says JORDIN is the winner. Tonight. Forever. Give her the tiara or golden microphone or whatever it is they effing win.
Do any of you actually vote for american idol? I don't normally like to, but I really want Jordin to win. Schmirnoff says VOTE RESPONSIBILY! If you are a hillbilly. Everyone else VOTE RESPONSIBLY.
