Slow Your Roll, Cracky
Ok, as my friend Cherry said (to me, not to you), now is not a good time to piss of Dot. I'm in a crappy mood. Got the PMS headache going on. I'm trying to mind my business and not cause myself any unnecessary cosmic grief. And I'm on my way back to work from lunch. And it goes a little something like this...
I live in a cookie cutter development with a front entrance and a back entrance. The front entrance goes back through town and you can find your way to a light to safely get across the highway. The back entrance, leads you out straight onto the highway where there is at the moment, is no nice signal light. You basically take your chances with your life. I use the back entrance because it's closer and I don't have to cross traffic to head back to work. To go towards the light, would be a complete waste of time. Unless I'm dying.
Today as with any other day, I head towards the highway. There is a blue mustang there waiting to cross traffic and head back towards town. I pull up beside her as I am making a right onto the highway. As I glance over at oncoming traffic, I see this cow becoming very animated and hit her steering wheel. Geez lady, yea there is traffic but it's gonna be ok. She is going on and on to her teenage daughter and now the daughter is looking up at me with a smirk. Yep. This fat fucking crackhead is bitching in her car about me, blocking her fucking view of oncoming traffic. I mean, if you think about it she'll go a split second after I do and is that such a hardship?
I try to pretend to ignore the daughter continuing to look at me and decide, well here we part ways traffic is starting to clear. Then. Get. This. She fucking shoo'd me with her hands. As if she were done with me. So I mouthed slowly for her to go do some more crack and peeled out onto the highway. My only regret is that I hope her daughter can't read lips.
This is why I get to call her a fat fucking crackhead. She's one of those yellow bleach #'s who wears her daughters tank tops even though she really shouldn't. I'm fat so I get to pull the card. If you do something so stupid that I have to pull out the fat crackhead comment, you earned it. If I do something tomorrow and you call me a fat asshole, so be it.
So to you, fugly mama? Put the pipe down and GO TO THE LIGHT. And be careful who you are shoo-ing. I don't wanna have to cut a bitch in front of her kids. Slow down. Maybe hit a meeting. I think they are Thursdays at the Catholic church.
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