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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
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To Do's
1. Attempt to do witty post on blog...CHECK
2. Lavish my bloggy buddies with my attention...Momentarily CHECK
3. Rub antibiotic goo in BoBo's eye...CHECK
4. Beat self up for eating 2 dinners last night...CHECK
5. Promise to turn new leaf today in starting new lifestyle...UM, CHECK
6. Thank Mom for taking Autumn this weekend back to school shopping...THANK YOU MOMMY!!
7. Mail other sister in law most recent pics of Autumn. That I promised like a year ago...SHIT still forgot. Need to do today. Loser.
8. Pay bills online cuz it's PAYDAY!...Almost CHECK
9. GET TO WORK...*sigh*
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Friday, July 27, 2007
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Dilema
Which movie do you want to see??
I'm just not so sure I can sit through John Travolta in a female fat suit. He's not the hunk of my dreams any longer. He's gotten way too squishy (and I'm not talking about his physique, that's still rockin). I mean that he's overly sensitive.
I was surprised when Autumn expressed interest in going to see it. Although, when I stop to think about it, she does like movie musicals..Grease, Chicago and of course the insanely popular High School Musical. Anyway, I'll see whatever she wants I guess. D'OH!
On a completely different note, my SIL, the effervescent LynnDenise with more poly in her grip, is watching old reruns of 90210. It's from season 2 where Brenda meets a dude in her Cardiofunk class and considers cheating on the always brooding Dylan. And it got me to thinking about truly some haneous exercise wear. Spandex? YUCK I had this crazy shiny outfit that had tiger-esq phsycodelic lines running through it. I looke like a liger from alice in wonderland in them.
Then there was the thong leotard. More like REOTARD. What a bunch of shit that was. I remember back in the day, my roommate and I had a membership to this crap called Body Beautiful. It was just for ladies and we'd take aerobic classes and stuff. I remember going out and specifically buying this stupid blue and pink thong reotard and short pants to wear there. Why??? I think because I wanted to fit in with the rest of the crowd. What exactly was the point? There weren't any guys to flaunt our junk at. I could see the thong, you know, if you want to attract a guy that way. But we all know that never goes anywhere. How can we keep telling dudes, my eyes are up here when we are wearing a thong? Just doesn't work.
Rant over, we now resume regular scheduled programming.
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Thursday, July 26, 2007
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It's Thursday and I'm Still Thinking About M&M's
How utterly boring I am. In answer to some of your questions yesterday (and today) of course they are with peanuts!! I'm eating some right now. With a Dr. Pepper. Apparently going to a health/lifestyle class and learning about the evils of soda and candy to not deter me from my loves. I'm hardcore like that.
Is there a candy out there YOU can't live without?
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007
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Life? Hmmm What's That
I'm back to my old hermit ways. I was just telling a friend that I think I'm trying to do too much here. Divorcing, moving, losing weight (oh yea, I mean not losing weight), dating, taking care of the kiddo...um, I'm tired. So I shall go back to living vicariously thru others who are OUT THERE and sit here with my bag of M&M's.
If I throw a green one at you, that means GO FOR IT.
If I throw a blue one at you, that means please repeat, as I looked down and missed it.
If I throw a brown one at you, you are acting like as ass and that's your queue to stop.
If I throw a red one at you, that means back the fuck away from what you're doing and come join me on the couch.
I'll see you soon.
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Tuesday, July 24, 2007
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Catching Up
It's a cold over cast Tuesday. Kind of mirroring my mood. Funny how it sometimes happens that way.
Boy-Toy was over before it even begun. Only ever went on one date with the guy, but it became apparent that everything we talked about in our phone conversations was NOT was he was about. I'll leave you guessing as to WHAT exactly he WAS looking.
Friday, I decided to drown my sorrows in a series of strawberry daquiris. It was a friend's birthday and we were quietly celebrating. We went to the local bar where there were approximately 5 other people at. A couple of older gentlemen are there doing some celebrating of their own. They are business aquaintenances from the company I work at, one mentions to the other. "Oh you are THAT girl???" hahaha Yes, I guess that's the rumor. This very generous man came over and plunked down a 100 dollar bill and told us the night was on him. Well allriiiiiiiiiiiiight! I'm telling you, there ain't no other way to start of a weekend.
We ended up having a really cool time. With the Viagra set. We sang and danced and I judged a "best ass" contest. Not once, but twice. Yes. They were Bare. Of course, I chose the buyer of the drinks. Duh. I haven't laughed so much in a really long time.
Saturday, I gave myself a little retail therapy. I bought a pair of "best ass" jeans and a top in a size smaller than I normally wear. Came home and dove right into Harry Potter. The book was ok. Not my favorite. Everything pretty much ended as I thought. I did peak at the end Sunday night as it was approaching midnight..then proceeded to just finish the damn thing. I guess I won't go into too much since there are people still reading it. I'm trying to decide if I feel satisfied. And for the most part? I am. I guess. haha
Sunday, the weekend came to a grinding halt. Autumn was away at a friends for two days. We were left at home to have yet another grand finale conversation with phrases like "your a !bleep!" and I'm a "bigger !bleep!". No, it wasn't actually a name calling contest more of a this fucking sucks when are we going to be done with it alfuckingready kind of a conversation?? The end result yesterday, yes a two-dayer, was that we have set a timeline to where I will leave or we will sell our house within 6 months. Whew. Finally, some relief. I have an obtainable goal to reach and something to look forward to. Like a nice piece of chocolate cake dangling on a string in front me. mmmmmmmm
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Friday, July 20, 2007
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The Moaning Meme
Hi Ginger
5 people who will be annoyed you tagged them.
Ms Mamma
hahahaaha That's all I got
4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth.
1) Left over baby fat (I mean mine, if you want to add yours, be my guest!)
2) All the Creepy Pervs out there
3) Tom Cruise
4) Cancer
3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently.
1) Leaving small children unattended in the street, or their car
2) Tramp Stamps
3) Tell me I have a pretty face. (Hey! I have a nice ass too dammit)
2 things you find yourself moaning about.
1) I'm dying for a Dr. Pepper. So I am having one.
2) Men
1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself.
That I'm a freakin dork and pre-occupied with my non-existant love life!
RULES
• Link to the original meme at freelancecynic.com so people know what it's all about!• Be as honest as possible. This is about letting people get to know the real you!• Try not to insult anyone - unless they really deserve it or are very, very ugly!• Post these rules at the end of every meme! ( I didn't post there cuz I was feeling shy. Fucking sue me)
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Thursday, July 19, 2007
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If You've Come Here Looking For Excitement...
hahaha You've come to the WRONG place. But you already knew that. Who knows why you keep coming back, I'm just glad you do. I have no kissing and telling to give you. Some phone conversations, but nothing exciting. Nothing to keep you on the edge of your seat. Or the edge of mine for that matter.
We talked last night for an hour, which was nice. We laughed. Then I felt guilty about ignoring Autumn so I told her we'd watch a movie. Who starts a movie at 10 PM on a Wednesday night??? Ugh. We watched Norbit. A complete snooze fest for me, but it made Autumn laugh. Can I just say I don't like Eddie Murphy anymore? Thanks.
What I had hoped would be a fun activity filled weekend, may end up to be a snuggle up with a good book kind of a weekend instead. I'll survive. I was invited to a party on Friday night for a friends birthday. Kind of last minute. I like going out with the girls..but I don't want to meet anyone local. I know that sounds crazy..but you can't date anyone in this town or any of the surrounding areas. As I told my hairdresser last night, if I have a third nipple or something..they'll be talking about it down at the Kwik-E-Mart.
Not that I have a third nipple.
I'm just sayin.
No offense intended if you have a third nipple. I'm sure that's perfectly normal.
For you.
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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How Long Has It Been?
I feel like I haven't talked to you, my internet ho's, in a million years. If I told you everything going on in my life, you'd feel the same I think.
I'm getting a divorce. Did you know that? Some of you do. Well there you go. I was married for 12 years and it was a pretty long boring rut to be in. We both feel exactly the same way about it, and there is a little comfort in that. We have a house that we can't sell. So at this point, we are roommates. Kind of like Three's Company without any sexual inuendo.
Now I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I live in a small town away from friends and family. My life has been here. I work here, I live here and now that things have changed, I don't see how I can go on here. I live in the kind of town where if you go out with someone and you are seen, or even if you are not, the hens will be talking about it in the grocery store the next day.
Rule #1 for me is, don't date anyone in town.
Now, I can hear you already out there in interspace, dating? I can't believe she's talking about dating. WHORE Well look, yea I was married for a long time. The break-up happened earlier this spring. You think it's too soon? Well I've been lonely for 12 years. I've been sad and lonely and now, it's time. Time for ME.
So I went on a date.
Yea, I already did. See, it has been a long time since we talked hasn't it? I called a girlfriend the other day and had to leave her a message about it. She called me back yesterday and said date? Was I hearing things?? Did you say you went on a date?? YEA. I DID. (sorry mom, I haven't told you yet. Email to come)
I "bumped" into this person at Walmart of all places. I'm trying to figure out how I'm still supposed to hate Walmart, even though Saturday, it was a totally fun place to be. haha I did tell him straight up later that I'm a Target Girl and that is a deal breaker for me.
We went to dinner Sunday night at Olive Garden. Canoodled. I thought the whole time, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to date. I'm not a casual dater. I've dated 5 guys and 4 of them were long term boyfriends, one I married. One was just gross, but we aren't even gong there.
It was fun to be with someone and laugh. And then? hahahahahaha
Then I went home and proceeded to get the flu. I thought it was nerves. I kept thinking, I'm at Olive Garden! Pass the salad! Pass the bread! I couldn't eat. I took home my entire entree and a dessert that he bought for me. I kept thinking what a dick I am. Well, it turned out that I just had the flu. I've been sick ever since. I'm mustering the energy this morning to write to you, from a banana and some pulpy orange juice.
I think that's pretty much it with me...Now I'm going to check and see what the eff is up with y'all!
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007
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Thanks Ally Bean
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Monday, July 09, 2007
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I Bet You Don't Have One Of These In Your Backyard
This little baby calf wondered thru a tiny gap in my neighbors back fence. We were sitting trying to watch World Series of Pop Culture on VH1 and the cows were being especially noisy. The poor mommy just wanted her baby back.
They have been safely reunited.
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Friday, July 06, 2007
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WHY I'M READY FOR SOFTBALL TO END: REASON #5
SITTING IN 111 DEGREE WEATHER IN GEEDUNK HEFERVILLE WATCHING OUR TEAM GET THEIR PONYTAILS HANDED TO THEM WITH A SIDE OF MANURE.
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Thursday, July 05, 2007
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The Great 8
L wanted to know 8 more things about me so here goes...
Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog. No tag backs.
1. I'm full of fear and always have been. Remember cherry drops? You'd hang upside down only by your knees on the jungle gym and swing back and forth and then drop? yea, never could do it. Most times I couldn't even hang upside down without somehow holding on with one of my hands.
2. I have a scar on the palm of my hand from a sliver I wouldn't let my mom pull out. I don't even think I told her about it. I hated when she'd get slivers out!! So I left it in and told myself it would work itself out on it's own time. which it did, but it left a tiny white scar. It was worth it.
3. She always used to pop my toes when I was little. And I hated that too. (haha sorry mama) My SIL pops her daughters toes and it makes me whine as loud as it does my neice.
4. I've never popped Autumn's toes. But I have popped her upside her head a few times. That's how she got that stutter.
5. I'm only kidding, she doesn't stutter.
6. I've never been to Washington DC, Washington state, the Grand Canyon or Hawaii.
7. I have been to New York, Connecticutt, San Antonio (TX) and Utah. My favorite? New York and San Antonio are tied.
8. I am 5 feet tall. On a good day. When the humidity is high and so is my hair.
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Tuesday, July 03, 2007
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Transformers! More Than Meets The Eye.
THIS is why I'm going to see the new Transformer movie.
Really.
I swear.
Shut up.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
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FOB
No, I'm not telling you to Fuck off Bitch, FALL OUT BOY! We took Autumn and her friend to see these punks Saturday night. I have to say, they weren't half bad. In fact, they were pretty darn good. I only knew two of their songs, but that's ok. My favorite, Thanks For the Memories, I actually thought was a Linkin Park song. Shows you how "with it" I actually am. I guess I'm doing ok with the pimple face set if I even know who either of these two bands are right?
I have to mention the opening act, Cobra Starship. Funny name right? We had to ask who they were. Apparently they are semi famous because they did a song for the movie Snakes on a Plane. I'm getting tired of these mutha fuckin snakes on this mutha fucking plane! They were cool and seemed really grateful to their fans for their suport. I like kids with good manners. I just want to adopt them and be their mom. We were in line for a margarita slushy when they came out after their set for autographs and pics. I doubt they would have thought it was cool if two thirty somethin chicks got in their line for a meet and squeeze. I totally would have pinched their cheeks. You can guess which I mean.
A good time was had by all. Our kids met up with their friends and pretty much ran around all night til FOB took the stage. My girlfriend in a non-lesbian-sort-of-way and I enjoyed watching our pre-teens get their groove on. Mine only grooved a little bit. She was a little too shy to get up through the whole thing, until we told her to look around, everyone was up. haha I'm not complaining..I'm glad she's still my little girl. She's buttering me up for anther concert. This time with the REAL Linkin Park. I said I wasn't making any promises, but I'm pretty sure I can get a sparling clean house out of this deal. Shhh! Don't tell her.
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